| hmm... |
[04 Apr 2005|04:15pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 content |
] |
Well, school started up last week. I've decided i'm taking History 105: U.S. since 1865, and intro to science. My history class this quarter is going to be a little easier than last quarter. My teacher is nicer, and a nicer grader. There are 2 essay exams, mid-term and final and like 5 quizzes. For the exams he's going to give us a list of questions about 2 wks before hand. He will take a couple of the questions and use them for the exams. The intro to science is going to be not too hard also, the teacher is nice and wants everyone to learn and have fun. I hope I don't get as stressed this quarter as I did last quarter.
Yeah, life has been changing, it's strange and good. This summer will be very different than all my other summers. First of all i'm turning 18, almost everyone i know thinks i'm older than that. It's funny I don't feel older than that, i guess i act older. I don't look older, by any means, but it's strange to have people tell me i seem like i'm 30 sometimes. I don't know whether to take that as a complement or not, they mean it as one, but I don't really want to act like i'm 30, i'm 17! Well, I guess I definently would rather act like 30 than 17 in some situations. Some people at work tell me i'm one of the most mature people there, I guess that's true, sometimes, i do work with some interesting people. I love all the insiders i work with, but sometimes they can act a little crazy. It's great though, I have fun working with them.
I'm very blessed to have a job i enjoy, i work with great people. I don't always like making pizzas and having to deal with customers, but the people i work with make me stay. I don't like to complain, i know i do sometimes, but whenever i do i take a step back and have to count my blessings. I have nothing to complain about; i'm so lucky to be able to get an education, have a job and a loving family. It bothers me when people around me complain about every little thing, when infact they have no real reason to complain. I know life is hard, and things get thrown our way that we don't want to deal with, but it helps us learn and grow. God doesn't put is in situations he doesn't think we can't take, of course we would need Him to make it, but He knows our capacity. I don't want to say limit, because God has no limit and through Him we can do anything. Us as human beings have our own limits, of course, but He doesn't.
Well, that's all i have to say for now, g2g2 class now, bye
~kb
|
|
| SCHOOL!!!!! WORK!!!!! |
[12 Mar 2005|08:53pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blah |
] |
Well, i've been having an interesting quarter. My western civ class you would think wouldn't be very hard, but no. My teacher is a very hard grader and the tests are extremely detailed. I'm doing ok, but i wish i was doing better. I love to learn about history, especially the Renaissance, but this class is kicking my butt. I know i'm gonna do ok, but it's been one of my harder classes that i've taken since i've been going to OC. My other classes, Geography 101 and piano lessons i've been doing fine in. My geo class is a breeze, and my piano went fine. I'm just really ready for this quarter to be over. I've been working a lot too, i've been starting at 4 more often and staying late, which means leaving around 9. I've been working at least 5 days a week, i'm constantly sore in my knees, arms and especially my feet. It's ok though, I got a raise a couple months ago, so i'm getting a little more money. These last few months have been really draining though.
Tomorrow night, Zach and I are going to pick up my parents and Anna from the airport. They went to Mississippi for 8 days. It's been weird not having them around. Lyndsey has been staying with me though, so i've not been too lonely. Zach came down for a couple of the days too, we went and had nachos then the next day we went and saw the movie Robots, it was fun. He is a big nerd, and his little brother is so very cute.
I wanted to go to Mississippi so bad!!! Margi and Ray are there, i stayed with Margi and her family when i went to Australia and Ray lives in Australia too. I got too talk with them on the phone though, i was happy. Well, next quarter i'm taking intro to science and either intro to sociology or u.s. history since 1865. They are all poulsbo classes, so i can save a lot of money in gas next quarter. I might also take voice lessons, it might be fun. Chris at work said i should, he took them this quarter, he said it's a good easy class. Well, i have to go study for my Western Civ final, bye.
~kb
|
|
| Chicago |
[30 Jan 2005|05:15pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 groggy |
] |
Anna and I just got back from Chicago. It was a really fun trip, the wedding was gorgeous and Chicago was awesome! I stood up in her wedding, and I had the cute guy, heh. I was exhausted the whole weekend!!! The time difference is 2 hrs ahead, so when we got up in the morning, it was like 4:30 to us. It was sooo cold! When we flew in on Thursday it at 6 p.m. it was 19 degrees, and later that night it was 9. The next morning it was 0, yes 0. It may have been at 6 in the morning, but still.
Last night, Saturday, after the wedding, Bob's brother's fiance asked me if I wanted to go see Chicago, and of course I said yes! It was so amazing, we ended up leaving the house in Indiana at around 8:50 p.m. and got to Chicago at around 9:15. We went with 2 of Bob's brothers and their girlfriends, well one's a fiance but whatever. Also Bob's younger sister Jenica, who was a jr. bridesmaid in the wedding, she's about 12. We went to the top of the John Hancock building, the 96th floor! The view of the city was amazing at the top. Then we went to the Cheesecake Factory at the bottom of the building. We waited for about 45 minutes before getting a table at the C.F. but when we sat down we all talked for about 2 hrs. and made fun of our different accents.
We were pretty lucky, the weather was about 35 degrees when we were walking around, but with a cold wind of course. Then after the Cheesecake Factory, it was about 12 a.m. at this time, we drove to the Sears Tower. We got out of the car and stood at the bottom and looked up, it was breathtaking, all 110 floors of it. We didn't get back to the house till 1:10 in the morning.
All in all it was a good vacation, i'm hoping to go back in July for about a month. Yeah, Chicago was a really great experience, and the wedding was a lot of fun. I'm really glad I had the chance to have that experience. Oh yeah, BRITT'S MARRIED!!!! That's so wierd to think about, they're really cute and I hope they have a great time together.
Well, i'm really tired so i'm gonna go rest and get ready for school tomorrow, b-bye.
~kayla
|
|
| "Bring on the rain" |
[13 Jan 2005|01:19pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
amused |
] |
So, today has been interesting. I got up at 8:30 to go to Bremerton and have my piano lessons. When I got there, a note said the teacher was sick and he would contact me later. Well, that was fun. Driving to OC then driving back for nothing, yeah not to mention a waste of gas. That's ok, I like driving, so it was fine. I just had to get up when i was really tired and DID NOT want to get up.
I'm having my first exams the week after next. I'm a little nervous, I think that my exam for Western Civ is an essay exam, not fun. Britt's wedding is that same week!!! I have my geography exam the day before I leave for Indiana! It's going to be nice seeing Britt, it's been like 5 months! It's too long to go without seeing your friend. My last entry seemed to get a lot of comments, i'm not quite sure why, but hey, the more the merrier
I forgot about this song until I saw this video on tv a little while ago, it's a good song.
Another day has almost come and gone
Can't imagine what else could go wrong
Sometimes I'd like to hide away
somewhere and lock the door
A single battle lost but not the war ('cause)
Tomorrow's another day
And I'm thirsty anyway
So bring on the rain
Its almost like the hard times circle 'round
A couple drops and they all start coming down
Yeah, I might feel defeated,
And I might hang my head
I might be barely breathing -
but I'm not dead (no, cause')
Tomorrow's another day
And I'm thirsty anyway
So bring on the rain
No I'm not gonna let it get me down,
I'm not gonna cry
And I'm not gonna lose any sleep tonight ('cause)
Tomorrow's another day
And I am not afraid
So bring on the rain
Tomorrows another day
And I'm thirsty anyway
So bring on the rain
(Bring on, Bring on the rain)
No I'm not gonna let it get me down
No I'm not gonna cry
So bring on the rain....
~kb
|
|
| Well, well, well |
[10 Jan 2005|04:13pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
calm |
] |
You Are Snow White!
Pure and trusting. You are a gentle soul who can get along with just about anyone. Everyone you meet instantly falls in love with you. How can they resist? You have a pure, lovable nature that's irresistable. Just don't trust everyone who comes across your path.
Well, I took the test thingy, hmm interesting. It was entertaining, something to do while you have nothing to do. School has been going fine, my Geography class is a little slow and boring. I'm still learning stuff, just very slowly. My Western Civ class is very interesting, also a little slow, but still fun to learn about the 14th century and stuff. Well, it's 4:15 and my Western Civ class starts in about a half an hour. We have to read "The Prince" by Machiavelli, it's the most banned book in the world, apparently, it should be good.
Work has been sorda wierd lately, cause 2 of my co-workers are dating now, and it's a little strange. I gave some advice to the guy cause he asked me about it, but he obviously didn't listen to what i was saying or he wouldn't be doing this. Well, maybe they're supposed to go out, that's fine. It's just a little akward, or however you spell that. They give each other looks and it's just really uncomfortable, but if they want to do that, then fine. I'm glad it's happened in a way though, cause now I see how it would've been if I had done that, and i'm glad I didn't.
It's funny how when you're younger and you make plans with your friends and then, when you get older, these plans seem to dissappear. Yeah, it's quite interesting, how much boys can change who you are and how you act. Not necessarily in a bad way, most of the time, but you just act different when you're around them and sometimes compromise your values. I guess in a way when your younger it's a lot easier to say what your going to do in a situation, but when your in it, everything seems to change. Though it really doesn't change, it's just hormones that have made you not think as clearly, generally. I guess what i'm trying to say is; things get harder when you get older. Things change, people change, and everything's a little more complicated. The thing that doesn't have to change are your values, they may differ a little from when you were younger, but they're still there. Talking with a few different people i've learned that, there are so few pure girls out there, I already knew in a way, but it's really just become very apparent to me recently. Some may say that i'm going to end up living alone with 25 cats, but if that's God's will, so be it. That's maybe not what I would prefer, but if that is what i'm meant to be, then i'm fine with that. I believe that God has kept me pure for a reason, I don't know why, but i know He does.
Well, i gotta go to class now.
~kb
|
|
| School is out |
[16 Dec 2004|11:16pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
optimistic |
] |
Well school has been on break for almost 2 wks. It's been really nice only having work to deal with. I got pretty good grades, better than i expected i was getting in math. I got a 2.9 in my math and 3.6 in photoshop, my overall gpa is 3.3, not too shabby. Now since i'm done with math credits, my gpa with get a lot better. I'm more than likely graduating in fall of 05. I'm excited for my future and what's gonna happen.
Christmas is going to be fun, did most of my shopping yesterday, and i'm going to finish up probably on Monday. Well that's it for now, bye.
~kb
|
|
| School is almost done |
[01 Dec 2004|01:53pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 drained |
] |
Well, it's almost time to celebrate and have a party. Only one more week of school!!! I can't wait till the 3 wk break, Christmas is going to be good this year, we've changed and our family has changed and it's going to be better and different this year. I told my mom that this year we're going to cook a big dinner and all sit around our dining room table, like we haven't done in a few years. When i was growing up we used to do that every big holiday, but now since we all have our own lives, it's become alot harder.
This year i'm not really wanting a bunch of presents, just for my family to be together and have fun. I might want a couple movies, but that's it, well maybe some stuff for my room, but yeah.
I hope to save up enough money to go backpacking around Europe in 06. If i don't use up all my money going back to Australia next year. Well, that's it for me for now, write more later.
~kb
|
|
| things and stuff |
[22 Nov 2004|01:33pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
blah |
] |
Well, the past weekend was well...I wouldn't say great. My grandma wasn't doing well, so my dad left on Saturday to go to Wyoming to see her, while he was on the plane on his way to see her, she passed away. Now they're planning the memorial service for her. He won't be back till next Monday. She was my last living grandparent, so now all my grandparents are in heaven together.
I've been thinking about dating and relationships lately. Mostly cause someone i know likes me and wants to have a relationship with me, more than friends. I know I don't want to have that kind of relationship with him, ever. One of the things that is really annoying is that my mom and sister have been encouraging his feelings and giving him a false hope to ever have a relationship like that with me. I know that he's a good guy and my mom and sis want me to date good guys, but i don't like him like that. I like him as a friend, but don't want any more than that. My mom and sister want me to, but i don't and won't. I don't want to date guys I don't feel a connection with, no matter how great they are. I also don't want to start a relationship with someone if i'm not ready.
I know some people think that you have to date lots of people in order to know what you want and what is right for you, I don't think that. I'm not saying dating people is wrong, but that it just isn't the best way to find that one for you. If you meet someone you like but don't know really well, be friends to find out if you have something. A lot of people meet someone than date them right away, there is a bigger risk of getting hurt, and it's something you might have avoided in the first place, and you might ruin what could've been a good friendship. I believe that when i'm ready and He has someone for me, God will let me know. I'm not saying the first person I have a dating relationship with will be the one, but ya never know. Until then, i'm focusing on work, school, and deepening my relationship with Him.
~kb
|
|
| hmm... |
[08 Nov 2004|01:12pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
tired |
] |
Well, i've been very busy with work and school. I work Tue, Thu, Fri, Sat, and Sun and i have school Mon, and Wed. I need to focus more on my school though, especially with my math. I'm going to be having more hours at work too, cause, well. I now have to be working on my final for photoshop class, but I have nothing to complain about. I am able to go to school and have a job, so I need to be grateful and do my best on both.
I've made the decision that when I graduate instead of traveling around the U.S. i'm going to go back to Australia, but this time i'm going to stay there for like 6 wks. and travel around there. I am hoping to be able to meet Nykia in Sydney and go around Sydney for a few days. Then fly upto Coffs and say hi to everyone, then go upto Queensland and go to the Great Barrier Reef. Yeah, that'd be cool. Well, that's awhile away like 9 or 10 months. Right now I need to focus on school and work. Well, i'm gonna go now, ttyl.
~kb
|
|
| bLaH |
[25 Oct 2004|01:14pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
hungry |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Hillsong cd |
] |
Well, right now i'm sitting in my photoshop class, waiting to present my mid-term. It turned out really well. Since i've last written, i've talked with brittany and we've made some plans for my trip over to Indiana. I'm really excited to see her, i miss her :( . Well, halloween is coming up, yaay. It's ironic that it's on Sunday. I've been doing pretty good, i really need to study my math, cause we have our first in class test coming up :[ . The last 2 take home tests i've done pretty well on, the last one i probably will get back today, i think it will be around an 80. It's pretty gloomy outside, cloudy and rainy, but, it doesn't faze me. I'm so excited for next year, when i graduate from college!! It may be community college, but it's still college. I've decided that when i graduate i'm going to travel around the U.S. for awhile. Since i have family all over, it will be easier. I have family in Wyoming, Texas, California, Britt in Indiana and some more family in Hawiia. My family in Hawiia owns a Resort, so that'll be cool. I've decided what i'm gonna do with my "hang-out room", Anna's old room, I'm gonna decorate it from all different cultures. Not all wierd and thrown together, but ones that can blend together, and i'm putting some of my dad's 50 yr. old maps on the walls. It'll be fun.
Well, i'll write again later.
~kb
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|
| life is what you make it, so let's have fun!! |
[07 Oct 2004|07:09pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 crazy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
My Australian cd |
] |
Well, i'm here at the Poulsbo OC library. I just finished working for about an hour on my photoshop work, really tedious!!! Since i've been back, I started college, obviously. On my first math test I got a 95!! Yeah, i was pretty excited. My photoshop mid-term is due in 2 weeks, yaay... I have to make a collage of whatever i want, but I have to do a bunch of fancy-schmancy photoshop stuff to it. It will probably take quite a few hours, but i hope it'll be fun. I miss Australia :( , it's nice to be back home, but i really had fun when i was there. I'm definently going back, sometime next year, it depends on when i graduate. I don't know if i'm going to take a year off or go straight into a college somewhere. I really want to take a year off and travel the world, but i don't know if my bank account will want me to do that. Well whatever is supposed to happen, will happen, i believe. Oh, and yesterday i got a new phone, a camera phone!! Anna got one too, they're $300 phones, but we got them for $50, yeah it's really cool. Well, i'm gonna go over to Anna's apt. now, bye.
~KB~
|
|
| What's with all this rubbish!!! |
[23 Sep 2004|01:37pm] |
Well, today is my last day :( , and it's really hot!! I went to the plaza and the mall today. I bought a lot of souvenier things. Last weekend I had a great time, i went to the gorgeous beach and went for a walk along the jetty (dock). But on Monday i started my monthly cycle and i had REALLY bad cramps and they didn't have a heat thingy or anything. When they started to get really bad i went up and took a shower. While i was in there i was too weak to stand up so i basically collapsed and was on all fours waiting to puke, I didn't but was really close to it. Anyway, i also went to the zoo last weekend. It was fun, i went with the japanese exchange student they have staying here. It was a bit dodgy, but it we had fun anyway. Overall, i've had a really good time, tomorrow at 10:05 a.m. my flight leaves for Sydney. Then i get to do the 15 hr flight again, yaaay. I've spent about $100 on Australian stuff, now tonight i have to pack my bags and make all of it fit. Well, i'm gonna go now. Be praying for me, i really hate plane rides :[ . I'll write again soon.
~KK~
|
|
| He's very seedy |
[13 Sep 2004|03:16pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
chipper |
] |
Well, i'm in Australia, i've been here for 6 days. I flew into Sydney at 6 in the morning on the 7th. I then took a train to Moss Vale, then went to the college. It was very gorgeous down there. It's in the southern highlands, so it get's quite cold down there, acutally my first two days it was raining and windy. In Australia they are just starting Spring, so it's very beautiful. Then on the 10th I took a train back upto Sydney then flew into Coffs Harbour. It's amazing up here, it's more tropical and very sunny. I've been having a wonderful time and don't really want to leave on the 24th, but I need to get back and so work and school, blah. Well, i've been having a lovely time, when i get back i'll post some pics. Well that's it for now.
~KK~
|
|
| Aussie possie |
[30 Jul 2004|10:48am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
chipper |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Bethany Dillon's cd, it's really good!!! |
] |
I don't know if that's how you spell it, but whatever. Yeah, we are getting the airline tickets as i'm typing!!! Yep, for the last 4 days all we (my mom and i) have been doing is finding the best dates and fares. Well we found a really good deal, so yaay. What i'm doing is flying into Sydney, then from there i'm taking a train to Moss Vale. The college i want to go to is right outside of Moss Vale, so someone from the college is going to pick me up and i'm going to stay a few nights at the college!!! Then from there i'm going to take a train to Coffs Harbour, which is where the people i'm staying with live. I'm going to be there for about 2 weeks. Another cool fact; the family i'm staying with, (the Andrews'), the husband, Ray, works for the ministry i'm hoping to work with in the future. So while i'm up there, i'm going to help him out with the conference he's doing. It's going to be REALLY awesome!!! Well it looks like i'm going to be leaving Sep. 5th and getting back Sep. 24th. It's going to be soooo much fun!!! I'm going to be really burned and hopefully a little tan, when i come back.
~kb
|
|
| G'day mate! |
[21 Jul 2004|12:30pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
cheerful |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Anything good |
] |
Well things are looking up for me going to Australia. I so far have about $600 saved up, and i looked up plane tickets and found some for around $1,000! So i am planning on leaving around August 29th and coming back around Sep. 16th, so i'm saving up my money.
I went to Corem Deo, July 5th - 10th, it was in Wenatchee. I thought it was going to be warmer than it was, but it was REALLY windy so it helped. I had a good time, Rebekah and i went together, we were in the same tent and hung out together the whole time, just like last year!
I'm really excited about going to Australia!!! I'm really happy with how my life is going right now, it's changing, but I know it's just going to be changing more, and i like it. Sometimes i don't like change, but it's definently changing for the better! I'm excited about getting out of here (Washington), at least for a little bit and pursuing bigger and better things. I can't wait till the end of next year, when i get to go to college and have a blast. It's going to be so amazing!! After i spend my year in Australia, going to the one year college, i'm planning on going to the Bible College in Fiji. It's either a two year or four year college, it's based off of the Abiding Life message. I'm hoping to work with Abiding Life Ministries once i get out of college. Well that's all i have to say for now!
~kb
P.S.
Kerina - I love you, but I don't like who you are becoming and how you've been acting. I'm moving on and so should you.
|
|
| Any thoughts of you and me have gone away. |
[03 Jun 2004|02:39pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
peaceful |
] |
Well the last few days have been, well boring but fun. Over the weekend I went shopping with Anna, Lyndsey and Elaina, it was fun. I met Bob, Brittany's bo, heh. He's really nice and seems like a really cool guy. Well, it seems weird to think that i'm probably going to college next July (2005). I'm really hoping that i'm going to be going in Aussie land. It would be such an amazing experience, yeah, that would be cool. Well i've been hanging with Brittany and Lyndsey and Anna a lot lately, it's cool. We have a lot of fun together. It's nice to hang around mature people you can trust. Well for my birthday, in 21 days, i'm going to go to a motel or condo somewhere for a few nights with a few friends and my family. We can't go very far cause the rotary auction is the weekend after, cause my b-day is on a Thursday. That will be fun. Well i've been doing great, i'm hoping to get Rebecka, Lori, Brittany, Lyndsey, Anna and myself to go to dinner and a movie next weekend. I have been talking to my cool guy friend for awhile now, it's nice to talk to someone who can understand and relate with me on a lot of things. Well the night before last I wrote another song. It's different then my other ones, but it's good. Well i'll write more later.
I need someone to hug, I need someone to squeeze.
Do I have somekind of disease?
Why are you abandoning me?
I thought your love would never cease.
Please tell my why.
Why this pain?
Why this anger?
Why these wounds in each flavor?
What is there to gain from the suffering?
Will it ever stop?
Or go on and on forever?
All the pain you make-believe.
All the wounds you cannot see.
Please tell me why.
Why this pain?
Why this anger?
Why these wounds in each flavor?
~kb
|
|
| I'll teach you all this, in eight easy steps. |
[28 May 2004|12:29pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Alanis Morissette's new cd |
] |
Well hello again. Life's been the same ol', same ol'. It's been raining really hard the last couple days here. Last night at work it started raining really hard so I made Sherri come out with me to stand in it for a couple minutes. It was fun, she didn't like it that much, but I kept going out there. My shirt and shoes were all wet for like an hour after. When I was driving back from the ferry, after dropping Anna off, it started to rain REALLY hard and in some parts it was hailing. I could barely see 10 ft in front of me, I slowed down to 25 in a 50 zone. Luckily the person behind me had the same idea, so he wasn't tailgating me. Well I had my Health Science final yesterday, I think I did alright. This weekend me, Anna and Lyndsey and Britt are gonna go do something fun, so we'll see how that goes. Today is payday, my check is $218, so that's not bad, I sure deserve it. In the summer i'm taking a math class and a first-aid and cpr class. The first-aid and cpr classes are all day saturday classes, it'll be fun to learn that stuff. Well i'm gonna go to Corem Deo this July with CMC. It's the 5-10, Rebecka and I went last year and it was awesome so hopefully we'll both go this year too. It was fun cause Becka and I stayed in the same tent. Well, I guess i'll write more later.
P.S. Here's a little somethin' I wrote a few days ago:
What have you become?
It used to be so good to be with you.
Now i can hardly stand to be near you.
Why are we silent when we want to scream?
Why are we running the wrong way?
Now I know the truth and it's set me free.
Now I know the reasons you abandoned me.
I'm not sad, i'm not mad.
I just want you to know that i'm still here.
~kb
|
|
| A reason to start over new, and the reason is you |
[11 May 2004|01:32pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
blah |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Hoobastank, Matt Redman |
] |
Hello again. The last couple days have been normal I guess. Well I guess as normal as my life can be. Brittany is back :D it's been fun having her around again. I don't know if i'm going to do school during the Summer. It would be good, but I don't know. Well last night I wrote a little thing;
Hi, goodbye.
I know you won't, but why can't I.
All the things that were never said,
why are these ripping me to shreds.
All the things you want to feel,
how long it will take for those wounds to heal.
All the things you wish not to perceive,
are the reasons why I chose to retreave.
I've tried so much, you've been so fake,
I don't know how much more I can take.
The words you said, the tears i've cried,
how much of me that has died.
I've tried so much, what more can I do?
All I will do is pray for you.
~kb
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|
| I found a reason to show, a side of me you didn't know. |
[06 May 2004|01:40pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
relieved |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Matt Redman |
] |
Hi, well I did my presentation on Tuesday. It went alright, some people laughed when I was reading some stories. I was really close to throwing up before it was my turn, but fortunately I was able to calm myself down. I dropped my online class that was giving me A LOT of stress, so now I am a lot better. I probably am not going to be able to go to Australia this Summer, because of the money issue, but i'm still hoping for something to happen so i'll be able to. Since I might not be going to Australia, I might go to Corem Deo this year with CMC, it's July 5-10, we'll see. I've been thinking about what's been happening this year. A lot has changed, in my life, my friendships and in me. I've realized some stuff, and if this stuff hadn't have happened it may not have come to my attention for a long time. At youth group on Tuesday, Mario talked about letting go of stuff you've done in the past. One of the good points he made was; It's not the perfect life God chooses, it's the person who chooses God in the middle of struggles. In the middle of all of this stuff i've seen some of the people around me turning to everything BUT God.
This whole ordeal has really pushed me to God, it's made my relationship with Him stronger and i've made peace with some stuff in my life. I'm not saying I don't struggle with things now, but when I do, I turn to Him, because he's the only one who can make it better. Dealing with the stuff that's been going on has been really hard for me and everyone around me, but I know turing to God has been the only thing that really has helped. He's given me wisdom, insight, and peace with a lot of the things i've been dealing with. I don't know if i'd still be here if it wasn't for God.
~kb
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| I'm so confused, trying to let go... |
[27 Apr 2004|01:54pm] |
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Elvis and Matt Redman |
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Well today was fine, i am supposed to get up for class at 11 so i can leave for class by 11:40. Well instead i got up at 11:25, for the people who know me, they know I need more than 15 minutes to be able to go somewhere. But because I am so amazing, I actually did it! I got ready in 20 minutes and went to class, ok so i was 5 minutes late, but i made it. Oh and i'm glad I went to class cause we had a pop quiz, and I found out i have to do my presentation next Tuesday, and my 6 page paper is due the following day for my online class, so i'm going to be very busy this week. Today is Kerina's birthday, she said she wanted to do something, i'm going to do something if she wants to, but everything isn't all of a sudden peachy. She is having her party this Saturday, Anna hasn't been invited, accident? Yeah, uhuh, i do love Kerina, but if she is going to be all "normal" with me and not my sister, i'm not going to do that, i will do one-on-one stuff with her, but if she isn't being nice with my sister than i can't be totally "normal" with her.
Hanna!?!?!?!?! Have you forgotten about me or something?! I'm still alive just to let ya know, love ya.
So yeah, here's another song;
Here I am Lord
I don't know what to do.
I've tried so many things,
but nothing will make it new.
What to do Lord, what to say?
When the hurt won't go away?
You say you're near,
Why can't I hear?
I need a friend,
will you be there till the end?
Everything is alright,
now you are in sight.
Just one touch from you,
I know will get me through.
~kb
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